Dear Dr. Betty,

I am a 42 year-old female, single and I have never had any type of sexual activity except for some light petting in high school. I just don't feel the sexual urges that my friends talk about. But, my biggest fear is that I will never have a sexual experience before I die. I also worry about this a lot because I feel I may be a freak of nature. I have started reading erotica novels and find myself stimulated at the scenarios I read about, so I know I have some urges. But the reason I am writing is that I am thinking about experimenting with masturbating.

I have ordered your book SEX FOR ONE and am wondering if you have any advice for an OLD FIRST TIMER. I know I will break my hymen and am afraid I will do something wrong. I also would like to know what type of toy you would suggest for my situation. Another worry I have is that I may be doing this for the wrong reason. Is this possible? Do you have advice for me? Do I have anything to be worried about? Am I going about this in the wrong way? Please respond back with any helpful advice.

Willow

Dear Willow,

You are going about this in the right way. Ordering my book and reading it will answer many of your questions. I would suggest you get my Vaginal Barbell and read about the Pelvic Floor muscle and begin to exercise it following my directions. Also get the Magic Wand vibrator and follow my suggestions for the best use. As for your hymen, if you’ve worn tampons it’s already opened so that won’t be a problem. If not, using the Barbell with plenty of lube after you've stimulated your clitoris with your fingers or the vibrator, you can ease your vagina open gradually with a minimum of discomfort.

However, your focus will be on your clitoris not on your vagina, so you don’t even have to bother with vaginal penetration at first. Once you master having orgasms with yourself, then you can think about sharing them with a partner. Forty-two is quite young. Just remember to be patient and that practice makes perfect. You have many happy orgasms just around the corner. Enjoy yourself.

Betty

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