Dear Dr Dodson

By coincidence, I happen to come across your website when I was making some search at the website at Women.com, the articles in your website are interesting and informative. At least, it gives me the insight into the subject of Sex, a subject that is never taught in school nor is there any good reading materials that are available in my country even my parents are very conservative and are tongue-tied on this subject.

My menstruation started at the age of 10 and I am so ignorant of what and why the bleeding. I only remembered my mum told me to expect this bleeding monthly. Probably she is not so well-educated to explain nor advice on what is menstruation. I was very frustrated with menstruation as this causes a lot of inconvenience when I was at schooling age and was unable to refer to anyone as I am the only daughter in the family and there is no one who can enlighten me nor books for me to refer to.

It was at this age that I started to explore as the curiosity is to find out what causes the bleeding and I used my finger to explore my pussy. At that time, I was so ignorant of my vulva but the touch is so sensational. Then when the finger reached a hole, I slowly inserted in to check what is inside it. The penetration is so sensational and my pc muscles are all tensed up, that's what you called Orgasm. I also used a mirror placed strategically to look at my pussy, it's so lovely and cute. I now learn the name of the different parts as shown in your diagram.

With the sensational experience, since then I started to masturbate each time after my menstruation is over. I discovered that masturbation affect my menstrual cycle as the menses come much earlier and most of the time last more than a week. Each time when I start to masturbate, the menses will start, this deters me from masturbating too often. I would like to know whether this is the case in every woman. Besides that, in my 30s when I masturbated quite actively, I discovered I have a fibroid, is it also due to masturbation? Until today, I cannot find the answer as to what causes fibroids.

I am in my 50's now and am still single. After I suffered a stroke about a year ago, I was unable to masturbate and was not able to achieve Orgasm, probably it's because in my pre-menopause period I no longer enjoy sex, please advise. No doubt, I have heard about your vibrator and other sex toys, I am unable to find any shop that sell sex toys in my country.

Would appreciate to hear from you. Warm regards, Susaanna

Dear Susanna, We are still not properly educating our children here in the US. What a shame that kids must grow up without any sex information. Besides inserting your finger inside your vagina for sexual feelings, I hope you also discovered your clitoris. That's the best place for sexual arousal especially as we age. And yes, at fifty a vibrator would be great for you. It would help you to enjoy masturbation more easily and frequently. Your earlier masturbation had nothing to do with the timing of your periods. However, masturbating often eased my menstrual cramps when I was younger. There is no set timing for our menses to arrive or how long it will last. Each woman is unique. I'm sorry to hear your ideas kept you from masturbating more often. My stand is that women don't masturbate often enough or take sufficient time to thoroughly enjoy themselves. I usually spend from 45 minutes to an hour at least once a week. As for fibroid tumors, again it has nothing to do with your masturbation. Maybe someday we will discover that women having regular orgasms might prevent some of these problems. Strokes do affect people differently. At the age of 78 after three strokes (briefly paralyzed two times), my dear friend Grant masturbates about four times a week. So I wouldn't automatically assume your stroke is responsible. Check out www.obgyn.net for more medical info. Let me know where you live so I can suggest a source for vibrators. The easiest is to order over the Internet. Meanwhile, using a vegetable oil like olive, peanut or sesame seed to massage your entire genital area including your clitoris is healthy and very pleasurable. Betty