Drawing by Betty Dodson

Hello Dr. Betty,

I have just recently found out that the aforementioned topic is a bad thing. This explains a lot to me (a 20- year old woman). From the approximate ages or 8 to 18, I probably masturbated using water pressure from the faucet in my bath tub almost every time I took a bath -- so, almost daily. Now at the age of twenty, I find myself in college and frustrating every man I meet. It is possible for me to achieve an orgasm in bed, but very rarely, and always via oral sex (the finger is necessary as well, as it does more good than the clitoral stimulation). Do you think that it is possible to regain complete -- or at least partial -- sensitivity if I begin to masturbate with my hands and forsake the faucet for good? What other advice do you have for achieving an orgasm for someone with decreased sensitivity?

Thanks,
Pamela

Dear Pamela,

First let's not call your situation "decreased sensitivity." Stimulating your clitoris with a stream of water in the bathtub is quite common and not a bad thing. You have simply gotten used to one kind of genital stimulation. All you need to do is change your masturbation pattern and start using your fingers. Begin by watching yourself in a free standing mirror as you explore your entire vulva inside and out. Using well-oiled fingers, focus on your clitoris by touching above, to the side and underneath from soft to firm, fast and slow, using different strokes and pressure. It takes a little time and patience to change a childhood masturbation technique but it will happen. Spend the first 10 or 15 minutes of each selfloving session experimenting with manual clitoral stimulation and eventually finish with "old faithful" so you won't end up frustrated. Just remember that practice and patience are the basics of mastering any art form.

Betty

[Back to Index]