Drawing Betty Dodson

Dear Dr. Betty:

Hello and thank you for considering my question. I am able to orgasm with my fingers, toys and even with my ex-husband and other partners if they "do the right thing" with my clit. No problem at all and I masturbate daily.

I am with a partner now that is very skilled, very accommodating and very capable. He is fierce, fiery, Mars to my Venus, muscular, raw, tall, primal and the most masculine and enthusiastic lover I've ever been with. I find that I get off more on the sexual intensity of our encounters than anything else. I really am not having "typical" orgasms with him and I honestly don't feel empty or wanting after our lovemaking. The minute he touches me I am electrified and am taken to another planet. I feel like my whole body is having an orgasm. He always tells me - get your rest, you will need it or I'm going to fuck you senseless - and he means it!!! We are very experimental and have only been with each other for a month or so.

We only see each other once or twice a week and every encounter is special. I don't want to feel pressure to have an orgasm because I've never experienced this level of sexual intensity before. This guy rocks my world!!!

My question is this a common reaction in women? Should I work on the orgasm part a little more? This reaction is new to me. I am 48 and he is 40.

Pam


Drawing by Betty Dodson

Dear Pam,

That's what I'd call a "high class problem." You are having passionate emotional and physical intensity with Mr. Perfect during some hot fucking, but you're not technically climaxing. Since you know you are orgasmic and this is only the first month, I say enjoy the sexual intensity until you begin to miss having orgasms with partnersex.

I went through a similar experience in my early forties. The man was a martial artist with a muscular body to die for and sexual stamina beyond belief. For the first month or two I was so in awe of his physicality that I didnt think much of ever coming with him. However, I'd masturbate furiously after he left. Then one time when we were fucking, I just reached down and did my clit and rocked his world with my big orgasm that then triggered his.

Obviously you are both skillful lovers. I think just me reminding you that there can be a tipping point when you want to orgasm too and at point, you will. Check out my book Orgasms for Two for information that you will not find in other books. Me and my big mouth!

Betty

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