Dear Betty,
First let me say that your website is amazing. The human body is a beautiful thing and definitely nothing to be ashamed of, and these wonderful stories about people's sexual experiences are something to be learned from. I have to say that while I haven't read any of your books or seen your videos, I like the messages that you deliver about sexuality, how it is something that is natural and far from sinful. Based on what I've seen from friends and from others stories, my relationship with my girlfriend is a little unusual and something that you might find interesting.

A little background first. I've been dating the same girl for over 4 years now, starting in junior year of high school and continuing into college. My girlfriend and I are currently doing the long distance thing, but in a year or so we'll be back together. As a choice between the two of us, we have decided to not have intercourse. Note, by intercourse, I mean cock-in-cunt sex. While we don't really have any moral objections to sex outside of marriage, and both of us have been tested as disease free, we're still nervous. Neither of us trusts a small piece of latex to prevent something that could change our lives, and while she is soon going on monthly protection, the prospect of an accidental pregnancy ruining our education is still scary. That being said, I have to say that despite not having intercourse, we are having incredible sex. Both of us shared our sexual awakening with the other: I'm the first guy that has ever seen her unclothed, and the first one to ever touch her in that way, and she is the only girl who I have ever gone past second base with. In the years that we've been together we've shared many firsts in our exploration of each other. Our most romantic dates have involved us taking showers together, washing every inch of each others bodies in preparation of our fun in the bedroom. I have become adept at bringing her to orgasm using only my fingers and tongue, and while she's not yet as skilled as I am with her, she has learned how to bring me over the edge.

Our forays into oral sex are somewhat recent, but have been an incredible experience. I've found that I actually enjoy the experience of eating her out, and she's told me that her best orgasms have come from this. We aren't really sure if it's several small ones in a row or one massive one, but her orgasms seem to last for about 15 seconds or sometimes even longer while I'm licking away at her little pearl. I rest reassured that the day we finally do have intercourse that I'll still be able to please her, even if she's unable to achieve orgasm via vaginal penetration.

My relationship with her has made me wonder at how the current U.S. education system teaches teens in health classes about sex. The current teen pregnancy rates show that the whole "abstinence only" message isn't working very well, and while teaching about protected sex is much better than preaching abstinence, mistakes do still happen. As awkward as it would be, it would make so much more sense to teach teens to satisfy their urges in a way that is still pleasurable, and yet has none of the dangers of intercourse, rather than suppress something that finally spirals out of control when they first get the chance. Prior to exploring oral sex with my girlfriend a few months ago, we were still having a wonderful time with only manual stimulation and mutual masturbation. Our experiences have shown that masturbation, either by oneself or with another is incredibly satisfying, and in the end makes you a better lover for when the time finally does come, pun intended.
A long distance lover.