Dear Dr Dodson,

I first heard of you while watching Eros on WTN one night. I was very intrigued by the work you do and thought you may be able to help me with something.

I am a 20 year old female in a loving relationship with my boyfriend (21) of almost 2 years. He is a wonderful lover but, unfortunately, I have only reached orgasm through oral sex and direct contact with my clitoris. I have tried using a vibrator by myself and with my boyfriend and it doesn't seem to do anything. I can feel it, but nothing happens.

When we are having sex, when I think I'm getting close to something happening, it's been 30-40 minutes of penetrative sex so he's really tired and can hardly move. And before we get to the penetrative part, he's already done the oral thing! Not to the point of orgasm, but to turn me on REALLY bad. :) So needless to say, after about an hour of sex he's pretty tired, and usually so am I. I'm not even sure if he or I are hitting "the G spot." Any suggestions?

It gets frustrating sometimes because I would like for him to "feel" me when we're having sex and we've never been able to do that. It would also be nice if I knew what it felt like to have a G spot orgasm. Thanks for your time.

Sincerely,
Rachel

Dear Rachel , The way I see it, I'm not sure there is a G-spot to hit. While some women like the sensation of the pressure against the ceiling of the vagina, the clitoris is your primary source of pleasure. G-spot orgasms for the most part are a new name for vaginal orgasms. A small percentage of women have this response and while there's nothing wrong with that, it's also not the "best" way to have partnersex. The best way for a woman to have orgasm with a partner is through oralsex and some form of direct clitoral contact before, during or after intercourse. Count your blessings that you are sharing orgasms together already. Whatever kind of direct clitoral stimulation you are using now, simply do it while you are fucking together. Start your clit stimulation when you begin and do it yourself. Good grief, no wonder your poor boyfriend is exhausted. If you continue having sex the same way, I suggest you pay him. It's a lot of work. Let me know how it goes. Betty