Dear Dr Betty, I got your website from the New York Post and I decided to tell you one of my major problems. I'm a young 22 year-old and 100% African male who left my country three years ago and did not get a girlfriend until now. Since I was fifteen, I started to masturbate and found it an interesting way to know my sexual potentialities. With the fact that I'm going to school and thinking so much about my future relationship, I'm very afraid that if I masturbate too much I will not feel any pleasure when having sex with my partner. I remember when I was in my country it was difficult for me to ejaculate when I was having sex, and if I did, it took at least forty-five minutes. After coming four times during sex, I was still not satisfied. None of the girls could bear me. They always told me that it was difficult for them to sustain my wanting to come four times. I wonder if masturbating has caused these things to happen to me. I also know when I jack off I really feel the pleasure more than having sex with a woman. Some of my friends told me that I should see a doctor, but I know that I don't have any sexual dysfunction. My sexual relations are always natural. One day, when I decided to have sex with a girl, the same thing happened. She told me that the strokes of my cock were too hard inside her so I have to do something about my problem. Knowing that you are a sex expert, what should I do in order to overcome this? To be candid with you, I'm still jacking off until finding the woman who can bear me. Daley.

Dear Daley, Congratulations for asking how you can make sex better. While you may not have a sexual dysfunction you definitely need more sexual skills. You can start by reading my book, getting more information from my website, and begin to educate yourself about female sexuality. The first step would be learning to penetrate a vagina the same way you would want someone to penetrate your anus. Sweet, and slow, using lots of lube, and making sure your partner feels good during the entire process. Masturbating too much is not your problem. However, changing your masturbation technique will help, especially if you use a heavy hand with a firm grip and rapid friction. Using the same hard and fast method inside a vagina will not feel good to most women. Many of us prefer a more rhythmic dance rather than hard pounding. You're going to have to retrain yourself by slowing down, easing up, using massage oil when you masturbate and involving your mind with sexual fantasy. I'm assuming the few women you've had sex with are also in their early twenties, which means they are not all that experienced either. Several things could be happening during partnersex. If you have a penis larger than 6 or 7 inches, slamming it into a woman's vagina and banging into her cervix can be painful. Another problem could be that her nervousness prevents lubrication and condoms can make the friction burn unless you are using a water or silicone-based lubricant. For the sake of the women you date, consider having one orgasm with her and finishing yourself off by hand while she watches or takes a shower. Another idea would be to masturbate and have several orgasms right before you have partnersex. Don't save it all up and wear her out with your need to have four orgasms in an hour. You'd be smart to find an older experienced woman who enjoys sex. She would appreciate your sexual prowess and could also show you what women like in terms of oralsex, and how to stimulate a clitoris during intercourse. Remember, most women do not have orgasms from a penis thrusting in and out of their vaginas so ask your next girlfriend to show you how she likes to have to have her clitoris touched. Betty