The Holiday of Holidays


There are holidays for presidents,
Groundhogs and Lovers.

The calendar honors Halloween,
Fathers and mothers.

Now take out your date book.
Find the section for May;

Mark down a celebration so special
It's awarded a month plus a day!

This holiday is unique -
No feasts, parades or an elf;

For the 7th day of this month
Calls for a gift to oneself.

Some holidays are limited
To a particular nation or state;

But here is one that's followed
By all who masturbate.

Masturbation Day is commemorated
By individual and personal picks -

Toys, videos, a scented candle,
Use imagination to get your kicks.

Spread the word! Tell your friends!
Try e-mail or the phone;

Raise the flag! Independence is declared!
Time to set off fireworks of your own.

Happy Masturbation Day!

by Tricia 3/5/2000
Masturbation Poet Laureate


There are many reasons to tickle your own fancy during the merry month of May, but the best reason surely has to be the celebration of the

Tenth Annual National
Masturbation Month.

The celebration kicks off on MAY 7th, 2005 with NATIONAL MASTURBATION DAY. Spend quality time with yourself throughout the day-call in late to work or extend your lunch break and spend it masturbating! Curl up for the evening with your favorite toy or video and lavish some well-deserved attention on yourself -- indulge your fondest fantasy and your favored technique. Remember our motto: "If you want something done right, do it yourself!"


Why Masturbate?

[ POST THIS ON ALL BULLETIN BOARDS ]
  1. Because masturbation is immensely pleasurable, invigorating, rejuvenating and fun.

  2. Because masturbation proclaims that sex is good in, by, and for itself.

  3. Because masturbation makes you a better lover.

  4. Because you can have more sex more often.

  5. Because sexual pleasure is each person's birthright.

  6. Because masturbation is the ultimate safe sex.

  7. Because masturbation is a joyous expression of self love.

  8. Because masturbation offers numerous health benefits including menstrual cramp relief, stress reduction, endorphin release, stronger pelvic muscles, reduction of prostate gland infection for men and resistance to yeast overgrowths for women.

  9. Because masturbation is an excellent cardiovascular workout.

  10. Because each person is their own best lover.

  11. Because masturbation with a partner can be educational and hot.

  12. Because masturbation increases sexual awareness.


Betty Dodson Ph.D. Grandmother of Masturbation
Taking Sex into Your Own Hands Is My Credo.

I believe...

Masturbation is our first natural sexual activity. Masturbation is the ongoing love affair that each of us has with ourselves throughout our lifetime. Masturbation is an erotic meditation. Masturbation inspires creativity. Masturbation is a way to gain sexual self-knowledge. Cultural denial of masturbation is the basis of sexual repression. Sharing masturbation with a lover enhances sexual intimacy. Being responsible for our own orgasm gives us a choice when it comes to partnersex. Threesomes help us overcome society’s conditioning to hoard sex for one person In the tradition of many cultures, some people enjoy celebrating sex in a group. Selfsexuality is our daily bread, partnersex is an evening of dining out, and groupsex several times a year is a grand banquet. Selfloving allows us to design a sexlife like an ongoing work of art.

I propose...

Organizing a sex positive movement with millions of activists joining me on the barricades against sexual ignorance. If you’re a friend of sex who would like to take a stand, start today by enjoying your own selfloving sessions without any guilt or apology. Go public by telling a few friends about your favorite masturbation techniques with a description of one of your better orgasms. Finally, sharing masturbation with a friend or lover qualifies you as an activist in the erotic renaissance of the new millennium.


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