More Sex, Less "Joy"

By RUTH LA FERLA

For More Sex, More "Joy"
By BETTY DODSON Ph.D.
See Below

At the Barnes & Noble on Union Square in Manhattan, just a few steps across the aisle from Self-Improvement and Relationships, the bookshelves groan with that venerable publishing genre, the sex manual. But to pull a recent example from its perch is to enter a world of steamy provocation that readers of a previous generation could not have imagined. There is, for instance, "The Lowdown on Going Down," with a sharp-focus photograph of a naked woman on the cover, thighs raised suggestively. Between the covers are 144 pages of explicit instructions for oral gymnastics.

"Lowdown" is a title from Broadway Books, a subsidiary of the publishing giant Random House. The book, by Marcy Michaels and Marie DeSalle, is one of dozens of new entries published in the last year in the growing and increasingly racy genre of how-to sex books, which employ provocative titles and slang - sometimes vulgar - to capture new readers. Vying for space on the same shelves are "Hot Monogamy," "The Wild Guide to Sex" and "Mind-Blowing Sex."

Now the old textbookish tomes like "The Joy of Sex" which invited readers to expand their horizons beyond the face-to face missionary position have been replaced by shiny paperbacks extolling the excitement that could come from oral sex, anal sex, fetishism and S&M. Couples who were formerly portrayed in a modest embrace are now shown to reveal full penetration. Careful, scholarly, sometimes clinical language has been replaced by chatty girlfriend-speak that might have been ghostwritten by Samantha Jones, the outspoken and sexually ravenous publicist of "Sex and the City."

Those in the business of publishing such books say the evolution has accelerated, fueled by the need to seem relevant in an increasingly sexualized culture. "The generation we're publishing for today is much more open about terminology and much more forthright," said Bryce Willett, the sales marketing manager of Ulysses Press in Berkley, Calif., which publishes "The Little Bit Naughty Book of Sex Positions" and the "Wild Guide to Sex and Loving."

The revival and boomlet of sex guides owes a debt in part to Judith Regan of ReganBooks, the publisher of "How to Have a XXX Sex Life," "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" and "She Comes First" (2004), a sprightly treatise on cunnilingus, which has been successful enough to spawn a sequel, "He Comes Next," due out in February.

Thanks to the anonymous nature of Internet shopping, publishers say, the latest sex how-to books have found an expanding readership. Now that consumers can buy them without the traditional embarrassment, their growth has been explosive. "203 Ways to Drive a Man Wild in Bed," for instance, has sold 325,000 copies.

Women are the primary consumers of the new manuals, which, like She Comes First," emphasize their enjoyment. "A lot of these books are about evening the score," Ms. Regan said. "They're saying, 'Hey guys, we need pleasure too.' " Publishers say there is no specific target demographic for the books, although feedback suggests that readers range from their 20's to their 60's.

One manual from Ulysses Press, whose title itself is vulgar, inducts readers into the arcana of sadomasochistic games, complete with props like paddles, handcuffs and video cameras. "If you want to make a Victorian porn film, simply turn the dial to sepia," the author, Flic Everett, suggests.

Little is known about whether the new sex books have altered attitudes and approaches to human sexuality. "With the earlier manuals there was some research," said Dr. Julia Heiman, the director of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction. "We had some evidence at least that they effected changes in sexual functioning." Dr. Heiman added that no similar studies have recently appeared. "But that's what deserves to happen if we are to figure out whether these things have a positive impact on sexual health." she said.

More Sex, More "Joy"

 

By BETTY DODSON Ph.D.

Ruth La Ferla probably thought she was being clever when she titled her article "More Sex, Less Joy." Hey, Ruth. Consider the possibility that more sex might lead to more joy! I must own up to a special interest in the word "joy" as in my titles: "Sex for One; The Joy of Selfloving" and "Orgasms for Two; The Joy of Partnersex." More on that in a minute.

On one of those days when I start worrying that the current religious and political climate intends to drive sex back into the darkest of closets, I am comforted in the knowledge that so many new sex books are entering the market place. I say, Hallelujah! Two of my good friends recently got their books published: "How to Tell a Naked Man What to Do" by Candida Royalle and "Dr. Sprinkle's Spectacular Sex" by Annie Sprinkle. Both of these women were former porn stars and that's one of the reasons their books are so much fun to read. They also inspire couples to try different things in the bedroom.

La Ferla mentioned that "203 Ways to Drive a Man Wild in Bed" sold 325,000 copies. Too bad she didn't know my book, "Sex for One; The Joy of Selfloving" has sold over a million copies in it's various forms since 1974. If "The Joy of Sex" is the grandpa of sex books, then my "Sex for One" is the grandma. As an artist and seventies sex positive feminist, I used the language that people who liked sex used. Down home four letter words made my ideas and personal experiences more accessible than reading a dry academic tome with statistics.

In many ways it worked! I've managed to keep my favorite subject "masturbation" in print for 31 years. But I'm both a success and a failure. Masturbation is still not talked about openly and that's why I continue to promote the most basic "do it yourself" kind of sex. Today, we can fuck pussy and ass, suck dicks and clits, fuck horses and sheep, but Heaven forbid we fuck ourselves. Now what do you think that's all about? I continue to ponder the question myself.

Other sex books written by my girlfriends are "The Art of Sex Coaching" by Dr. Patti Britton. Her information will help expand any sex therapists practice. Another favorite is "Miss Vera's Finishing School for Boys Who Want to be Girls" by Veronica Vera. Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men" by Jamie Goddard is a good book for heterosexuals. And any one interested in a woman's genital anatomy has got to read, "The Clitoral Truth" by Rebecca Chalker. Women are taking on America's sexual ignorance. If more people read these books, we'd see more joy and sexual happiness.

excerpted from:
"More Sex, Less "Joy""
By RUTH LA FERLA
© New York Times
Sunday, May 29, 2005