Hi Doctor Betty!

I like your help. I am 20 years old and I am having sex for two years now. My problem is that I can not orgasm with my partner but I can when I am alone. I can do it myself but not with my girlfriend. I touch the perfect point but I don't finish. I think that most of the times I am thinking that I have to come to orgasm and I am very nervous.

I waiting for your help... Sorry for my English but I am from Greece and I don't speak English very well. Thank you anyway!!!!

John

Dear John, This is an unusual complaint from a man. More often young men are concerned about coming too quickly when they have sex with their girlfriends. The same as I tell women who are thinking about orgasm and can't come, I will tell you. Relax. As long as you can come with yourself you're okay. You have already named your problem -- thinking that you have to come and getting nervous because of your self demand. One way to break through this would be after having intercourse you finish off by masturbating yourself while your girlfriend is still lying next to you. Have her hug and kiss you. If you don't come it's okay but you'll most likely get closer each time you try. Another technique would be to show her how to use her hand on your dick and maybe she can bring you to orgasm just by using her hand. If neither of those two work, next time, prior to sex, you could go to another room and have an orgasm by yourself. Then back in the room with her, don't try to have orgasm, just concerate on giving her an orgasm with oral sex or with your your fingers. The point of this method will be to relieve you of some of your sexual tension beforehand. Once you break through and have an orgasm in her presence that nervousness will gradually disappear. By the way, how is your girlfriend having her orgasms? Does she masturbate? Remember most women can't come from penis/vagina sex so you'll want to do oral or manual sex to help her along. Maybe paying more attention to her will take your mind off of whether or not you're going to come. Sex requires skill and practice so be patient as you try new things. Get back to me and let me know how you figured it all out. Betty