Dear Ursula, After so many years without any clitoral contact, I suggest you give yourself some time to acclimate your sex organ to pleasure. The important part is that when he goes down on you, there are good feelings. You say, “I do have feeling. I enjoy it, and it makes my legs twitch and tremor and my body gets very physically hot.” Don’t worry about whether or not that’s an orgasm. Get my book “Orgasms for Two” and read what I say in the chapter “Did You Come?” I quote myself here: “The sexual orgasm is one of my favorite metaphors for life: I have often experienced these heightened moments of pleasure in my body, mind and soul, yet I can never fully describe what happens with words. I’ve had some orgasms that are barely perceptible, others felt as good as a sneeze and then there are those orgasms that have turned me into a quivering mass of utter delight.” Also read my instructions on the best use of the Magic Wand under the heading Orgasm: First/Better . You can’t just lay the vibrator on top of your clit without some warm-up. Try doing at least a few minutes of a vulva massage with my sweet almond oil or something comparable, before using the Wand. Use a cloth or some fabric to soften the vibes right in the beginning . After a period of vibrating, you can add more intensity . Just remember, you have been responding to a soft wet tongue and the Wand has a strong electric motor. You might want to try the Strawberry that has a low setting that's quite nice. Another thing to consider is that any single mom with 4 kids who is also going to school will have very little time left over for masturbating. So take it easy on yourself and don’t make unrealistic demands to achieve orgasm. Keep practicing and be patient. Most importantly, continue to enjoy what you are feeling with your new boyfriend and hold the image that you will be able to give yourself an orgasm soon. Betty