Dear Cindy, There is a lot of info on my website about female orgasm so keep reading and learning what you can. You need to become familiar with your vulva especially locating the clitoris. If you can, get a free-standing mirror and examine your sex organ in a good light. Using some kind of natural oil, begin to massage the entire area looking for places that feel good and then staying there for a while. Vaginal pain can be caused by numerous things. The most common one is not enough vaginal lubrication and penetration in a dry vagina hurts. Women need to feel free to use additional lubrication. I don't have enough information to go into any more detail. You might want to see your healthcare provider and find out about the pain you feel on the right side. Also check out the info on my vaginal Barbell. Doing your Kegel exercises will encourage vaginal lubrication. Once you can experience some pleasure with orgasm, chances are good that having sex with your partner will no longer be painful. And, surprise - you may find sex is interesting after all. Betty