1. Get to know your beautiful vulva. With a makeup mirror that stands alone freeing both hands, aim an adjustable lamp directly at your genitals with open legs. Locate your clitoris and explore outside and inside your magnificent sex organ. Do a vulva massage using my recommended massage oil, Charlie Sunshine's "Secret Formula".
2. Become an expert on self-stimulation. Spend at least thirty minutes to an hour pleasuring yourself. Through masturbation, learn how you like to have your clitoris touched manually or with a vibrator. Share this information with your lover.
3. Locate your pelvic floor muscle. The PC muscle is the one that stops the flow of urine. Once you learn to isolate this muscle, squeeze and release it for fifty repetitions several times a week with or without a resistance device like Betty's Barbell.
4. Focus on breathing during your selfloving sessions. While gently rocking your pelvis forward and back, squeeze the PC on the forward rock inhaling and release the PC as you exhale dropping back. Let sounds of pleasure come out on the exhale.
5. Combine clitoral stimulation with PC muscle contractions. Practice using your PC muscle when you masturbate at least once a week or more. A strong PC muscle creates better orgasms for women and men. Learn to use this muscle during intercourse to heighten pleasurable sensations for both you and your lover.
6. The organs that trigger orgasm. Just as the head of the penis is a man's primary pleasure organ, the clitoris is a woman's with 8000 nerve endings. The vagina is ideal stimulation for men's orgasm, but penis/vagina penetration rarely contacts the clitoris adequately to create a women's orgasm. Direct clitoral stimulation is needed.
7. Vaginal penetration. When a finger, dildo or penis presses up into the ceiling of the vagina with shallow penetration, it applies pressure to the spongy tissue surrounding the urinary tract that lies just above. This can create a sensuous feeling when combined with clitoral stimulation for some women but not all.
8. Take control of your own clitoral stimulation during intercourse. Never feel inadequate or apologize when you want direct clitoral touching with your fingers or a vibrator during partnersex. When a woman protects her lover's ego while sacrificing her own orgasm, she does a disservice to them both.
9. The Combination Orgasm. Along with your preferred kind of clitoral stimulation, do slow vaginal penetration that is followed by slow rhythmic in and out movements. During intercourse, use your PC muscle while rocking your pelvis and breathing out loud. Additional lubrication on your lover's finger, penis or dildo always feels more sensuous.
10. Explore your erotic mind. During selfloving sessions, tell yourself a sexy story or replay a hot sex scene that actually happened. Embellish the details or add to the scenario. Don't judge your sexual fantasies and remember, you are playing all the roles. Using sexual fantasy during partnersex can heighten the experience of orgasm.
Copyright© 2002 by Betty Dodson Ph.D.
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