Adventures and Advice
on Sex, Love and
the Sensual Years

By JOHN MARSHALL

We might have suspected some of this long-private lusty life of yours, or maybe fantasized about it, since you were a University of Washington sociologist on the new frontiers of studying s-e-x as an academic discipline. Presumably, one would not devote years of research to sex without some fondness for the delights of the flesh, but scarcely could we have guessed at just how relentless would be your pursuit of the erotic life during college at Washington University in St. Louis and Yale, then also after you left your 23-year second marriage and were single once again in your 50s.

Now we know where that led: student dalliances with an antiquities dealer in Kyoto, Japan; a crewman on a boat in Hong Kong harbor; an Athens hotel staffer who spoke only a few words of English but still enticed you to make love in the moonlight amid the ruins of the Parthenon; plus a playboy from India in Paris ("I felt like a BMW being serviced by an excellent technician," you recall).

Then, decades later, a third Internet date with a man who, after cooking dinner for you, impulsively smeared chocolate cake remnants across your naked chest and licked it off. Or that four-hand massage by two young male masseuses on the sensual island of Bali. Or being undressed and brought to an orgasm by your lover in the back of a taxi cab cruising New York City ("I was insanely turned on").

What might seem an idle boast at the outset of your new memoir is illustrated, with explicit detail, throughout. As you write, "I have always had a strong sex drive. Since about age 15, I have walked around with sex on my mind. Probably daily. I know not every woman or man has this sort of appetite but the truth about me is that I always had the kind of itch for sex that people only attribute to men."

HarperCollins "Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love and the Sensual Years" (Collins, 259 pages, $24.95) is a frank, shocking, even courageous memoir in this age of tell-all. Schwartz, a highly public person in Seattle and far beyond, examines the side of life that most people keep private and she does that with verve, guts and what seems utter openness, candor and vulnerability.

There is serious purpose behind her revelations. "Prime" delivers copious titillation, but it also provides insight, especially for women in their 50s who are beginning to suffer the societal invisibility of advancing years. Tales of Schwartz's exploits alternate with concise explanations of what she learned from them, lessons sometimes garnered by the incurable romantic through heartache and tears.

She steadfastly believes: "Live large. Be all of who you are and can be. And if that involves some pain and some loss, so be it. The men in my life have given me far more than they have taken. I had no doubt about that whatsoever. The adventures I have had have increased my self-knowledge -- imperfect though that will always be. They have enriched my life, my work and my capacity to love."

Schwartz is an intrepid pilgrim on the meandering pathways to sexual and emotional fulfillment. She is a relentless optimist, looking for love or at least lust in all the right and wrong places. Her taste for men is voracious, but also democratic; she is an equal-opportunity flirt with magnanimous attitudes that cross age and race "barriers" and perfects her coquette act with cheeky good humor.

As she writes, "I sometimes joke that I really need a man to do only two things for me -- make me laugh and make me moan."

The 62-year-old author also tells all about what may be the real forbidden topic for women, admitting lifelong struggles with pudge that have seen her petite body range from dress sizes 6 through 10, a 30-pound variance. As she says, "At the lowest weight, I feel like I kick butt and, at the highest, well, you have to love me for my mind."

Indeed, the Schwartz that emerges in the pages of "Prime" is such a stand-up figure (even when lying down) that she largely quells long-held suspicions about being a publicity hound.

Schwartz has been one of Seattle's most visible newsmakers since her landmark 1983 book, "American Couples," written with late UW colleague Philip Blumstein. There has not been one year since 1986 without Schwartz being mentioned in the Seattle P-I and two years had more than 10 citations. National audiences hear from her just as frequently.

"Prime" is a revelatory account of the pursuit of love and lust and all the thrills and tears encountered along the way. Schwartz proves herself to be an exemplary chronicler of her deliciously sensuous life, self-aware, self-critical, self-mocking. She ventures fearlessly into erotic territory where few writers dare tread in print and produces a sultry memoir with many revelations and inspirations for both women and men.

excerpted from:
"Prime: Adventures and Advice on Sex, Love and the Sensual Years"
By JOHN MARSHALL
© seattlepi.com July 20, 2007