Dear Betty,

When I was 22, I was thoroughly repressed sexually, emotionally and intellectually. My parents had way too much influence on me, as did my professors, my bosses and, in general, most other people. My major goal in life was to be a "good girl"

These past 17 years have been a long road for me, but my first huge breakthrough came after I stumbled upon your book Sex for One in a bookstore at the mall. It was the first time I ever felt "permission" to claim (without guilt) my robust and lusty sexual nature. If I had to say who I am, in the most basic sense, I'd say I am an intensely sexual person. I have never been able to repress that part of me; in fact, I remember having full-fledged orgasms from masturbation as early as age three! I was able to remain a virgin until age 22, but I was never able to repress the urge to masturbate, and I paid a big price for that in terms of guilt and low self esteem.

After I overcame my inhibitions, my self-esteem suffered a lot less. In short, I had to relearn how to be true to myself, in all areas, and I had to spend a lot of time practicing to finally get good at it!

Now I am 39 and while I wish I had this much confidence when I was 22, I realize that no time is ever wasted. We all have our journeys and the real tragedy would have been not to have found the people, including you, along the way who helped me to grow.

Fondly, Anita