Dear Ms. Dodson:

I purchased your video, Celebrating Orgasm, from a catalog since I was very curious to see what it was about.

I have never had a problem giving myself an orgasm, but I read your book Sex For One and thought it was great. It was not another How To book, but about one specific topic: women's pleasure. I fully support the work that you do because there is no reason for women's pleasure not to be acknowledged.

The reason I am writing is to ask this question: Why do you teach women to masturbate using a vibrator? I see a vibrator as a mechanical object that will obviously give a woman an orgasm very easily. It is like a quick fix or instant gratification. Isn’t it more natural for women to use their hands? A vibrator is a crutch. Once a person uses it, how will she learn not to use it? It seems a vibrator should be a last resort if there is no other way to reach orgasm, or as an added toy. Anyone can use a vibrator and let it do the work for them. I was just curious as to why you only teach that way.

Keep up the good work.

Sandra, Trenton, NJ

Dear Sandra, Most of the women I’ve taught over the years are struggling to discover what sexual pleasure is all about. I have no objections whatsoever to women using their hands. I did for the first thirty-seven years of my life, and it only took a few minutes. Women like yourself who have orgasms easily don't come to me unless they want to explore having more than one orgasm or higher states of ecstasy. I am sure there are going to be some women, perhaps younger, who can achieve orgasm manually but see using a vibrator a "lazy" or quick way to come. On the other hand maybe they will be able to have more orgasms. Your question "How will a women learn not to use vibrator?" begs a judgment. Then who's to be the arbitrator? I have always said "there is no 'right' way to have an orgasm." If a women does get hooked on using a vibrator, the nation's power supply isn't likely to run out any time soon. Women in their mid thirties and beyond who are looking for their first orgasm, not sure their having one, or only feel a mild response usually complain their hand gets tired, or they get bored long before something sexual happens. All those nerve pathways from the clitoris to the pleasure center in the brain have been asleep, and the strong consistent stimulation of an electric massager for thirty minutes or more wakes them up. Once she’s learned to have a full-bodied orgasm with a massager, she’ll want to continue using it alone and with her partner. Why does it matter how we have our orgasms as long as we enjoy it? For women who are orgasmic and want to explore having more than one orgasm, or have longer sessions of selfloving that takes them beyond orgasm to what I call, "a state of ecstasy" where the body continues to tremble with waves of sexual pleasure, once again, the electric massager works. Any woman exploring advanced masturbation that lasts an hour or more must use some form of cushioning like a wash cloth between the clitoris and vibrator, pace the intensity, use pelvic movements and breathe out loud. Given our deadly history of female sexual repression, I’d say we need all the help we can get. While some might call an electric massager a crutch, I call it a blessing. Betty OTHER RELATED PAGES: The Technology of Orgasm. Hov to Use a Vibrator for Orgasms How to Order the Hitachi Magic Wand. Newly Married, I Have Yet to Tell Him About My Vibrator. Celebrating Orgasm gave me 1st Orgasm with Magic Wand at 47. Girlfriend Feels Abnormal for Masturbating with Vibrator. Women Who Plug-In Too Much. Woman Armed With a Vibrator Theat to Male-Dominated Alabama Gov. Sex Toy History Poet Contributes to the Addiction Debate .