Betty,

I am a 32 yr old woman that has an outragious sex drive. My ex-husband wouldn't have sex with me because he said that my want for sex drove him crazy....I was so embarassed and hurt by the rejection. I am now divorced and dating a 45 yr old italian that always bragged about his ability to have sex for long and numerous sessions. We have been together now for a little over 2 yrs. We now live together and he is now just about running from me at times LOL. He tells me I am abnormal.

I love sex, all sex and I have had bisexual encounters. Although I am not one that looks at women that way as a norm, I do at times have a strong want for a womans touch but I would never do without a man.... I love to feel dick inside of me. My boyfriend and I have a great sex life and I couldn't ask for more from anyone. He makes love to me until I have had 5-10 orgasms in a session, he holds out and he makes sure I am totally satisfied.

I have always been multi-orgasmic and I love that very much. I have found that if I only have 1 orgasm in a sexual encounter...I will have to go masturbate to have 4 or more. There are times when we will get done making love...in which I had multiple orgasms and I still have to masturbate a few more times to be satisfied. This is starting to really bother me. What is wrong with me? Am I normal or abnormal???

I was molested at the age of 4-13...the man that molested me all those years, raped me at the age of 13. I have always had a high craving for sex but yet a fear of being alone with a man to have sex. I remember at the age of 8 wanting to have sex with a grown man that I met and had a heavy crush on. He eventually tried to have sex with me because he noticed I had a crush on him...of course where I was so young...he did not fit and nothing could happen. I started masturbating at the age of 9. Is this normal? Is the reason I am so sexual due to the molestation as a child?

I am so very sexual that I almost scare myself sometimes. I get a little embarassed about the things that cross my mind. I am very kinky but I am afraid to share my wants and thoughts with my lover. I am afraid of what he will think. I almost feel as if I am a prostitute without having all the different partners. I have the mind of a sex maniac and feel like a freak.

Please give me your opinion.

Thank you,
Always Wet

Dear Wet, There's that word "normal" again. I don't believe there is such a thing as normal but we can talk about averages. Your desire for sex is not average but that doesn't mean it's wrong. We live in a highly pleasure phobic society so you are definitely different. To a Puritan, wanting sex every week would label a person as a "sex maniac" while your appetite in some Island cultures would be seen as average. Being introduced to sex at an early age is not always a negative experience although most Americans go temporarily insane over the idea of children having sex. If you really want to curb your sexual appetite you could always take an anti-depressant drug but I'd advise you to simply satisfy yourself between masturbation and partnersex as you've been doing. Once you go through menopause things will naturally calm down. In the meantime, I'd relax and enjoy your robust sexlife. I think you would find my review of Nymphomania, a History By Carol Groneman interesting reading. Also for perspective bear in mind this definition: "A nymphomaniac is someone who has more sex than you." -- Alfred Kinsey Betty

Betty,

Thank you for the response to my questions and concerns. I would like to add that I have taken Prozac before for depression and it totally curbed my sex drive... I not only lost my sex drive...I couldn't even get wet let alone have an orgasm. I thought I was going to go nuts. I refuse to take any medicine that reduced my sex drive. I know this sounds pathetic, but I can not go without sex...it is impossible for me to do.

I do masturbate quite frequently and my fiancé and I have sex at least 5 to 6 times a week...if not intercourse, we have oral sex. I do not want my sex drive to change because it really does reduce my stress level and helps me sleep when I am having those nights of insomnia. However, I do not want it to become a problem with my fiancé and I. He is a very sexual person and he satisfies me completely. When we make love it is unbelievable. I could not ask for more. Will I run him away? Will this cause any conflict within us? We do have a 15yr age difference.

Thanks,
Always wet

Dear Wet: As a senior with a much younger man who has been living with me for over two years, I have the opposite concern. He wants sex more often than I do. So he fills in with masturbation and I don't demand monogamy. However, if and when he wants to fly away, I will give him my blessings and wish him well. I would miss him greatly but I wouldn't die of a broken heart because I love myself too much to act out in such a destructive way. Instead of constantly worrying that your high drive for sex will drive your boyfriend away, I'd relax and enjoy what you have. Even so-called "perfect relationships" seldom last forever. Stay in the moment and stop projecting. A doctor friend of mine always says, "Life is terminal but it's not serious." It would be great if we could treat our love affairs the same way. Betty