Dear Betty,

I enjoy your website and visit it often. But, I need your help! I am a 39 year-old mother of one. He is 15 years old. His father and I divorced when he was five and though he visits his father, I am the only one raising him. He spends most of his time watching television or outside playing sports. However, I am concerned.

Two weeks ago he was in the bathroom getting ready to take his shower when I accidentally walked in on him. I have to say, I was quite surprised to see how developed he was for being a fifteen-year old boy! We decided when he was born that we wouldn't have him circumcised. I always thought that it would limit his penis size in some way but when I saw him he must be an un-erect 8 inches!!!!

I'm concerned because I think it's natural for a boy to be interested in sexuality and exploring himself, especially at that age. From several conversations we had it seemed that he never really thought about that stuff. So I've recently been thinking weather or not I should show him how to masturbate. I think it would be healthy for him to learn how to release some sexual tension. I also have been thinking that maybe I should buy him some magazines or something to assist him.

I've also thought about letting him see and touch my body to clear up any confusion that has developed. I'm not talking about having sex with him, but I think it would be beneficial for him if I showed him the female anatomy and showed him how to pleasure himself. Please tell me what you think right away.

Sincerely,
G.G.-OH.

Dear KG, Usually the last person a teenage boy wants to discuss sex with is his mom. With all that equipment between his legs, chances are good your son is already masturbating but he's too embarrassed to say so. Have you talked with the boy's father about this? Where does his dad stand on masturbation? If he is sex positive, it would be better for him to bring up the subject instead of you. Given this culture's obsession with incest, I don't advise you engage in any direct "show and tell" about sex. What you might consider doing is getting a copy of my book Sex for One and putting it in a place he is likely to see. Don't hand it to him or tell him to read it. Most kids that age are committed to doing the opposite of what a parent says. Sex for Onewould affirm his right to masturbate and enjoy his raging hormones. It would also educate him about female genitals with my drawings, knowledge you were thinking he needed. Most important would be for you to focus more on your own selfloving practice. The best thing that can happen to any kid is to be raised by an orgasmic mother. Without mom and dad ever saying a word, children sense if their parents like sex. Get back to me and lets talk about your sexlife. Meanwhile, be sure to read Sex for One before you leave it out for him. And consider buying a Magic Wand (www.bettydodson.com/vibhowtouse.htm) and my Vaginal Barbell (www.bettydodson.com/barbellinfo.htm) for yourself too. All available on my website. Betty