Dear Krina, As a former player of SM light, (I mostly enjoyed negotiating a scene and the costuming that went with it) I’m fully aware of the importance of trust. One thing to avoid is upping the ante in order to achieve your next orgasm which is where you are heading now. There are many books and websites that deal with SM play that I hope you and your boyfriend access. You can’t continue to create more pain in order to have your next orgasm without damaging your body. Most of the players I know separate orgasm from pain or what they called “intense sensation.” The scene is more or less an end in itself. Many of the women had their orgasms later in more traditional ways like a vibrator on her clit or regular vanilla sex. So arm yourself with knowledge on how to explore this space safely and discuss it in detail with your partner. See if you can find a community of like-minded people, a club or a group that meets to discuss the finer points of role playing and co-mingeling pleasure with pain. Betty