The Hitachi Magic Wand is sold as an electric body massager. This sturdy and reliable machine is great for relaxing and soothing sore muscles throughout the entire body. The therapeutic vibrations bring a new supply of blood to any area being massaged including the genitals. Once I discovered how great this vibrator was for sexual pleasure, I started buying them by the case to share with the women in my original Bodysex groups. Since the early seventies I have recommended the Magic Wand without being paid for my endorsement. I currently sell the Wand on my website in addition to Betty's Barbell, my vaginal exerciser, and a few other favorite sex toys along with my books and videos.

FIRST TIME ORGASM: Any woman who has a history of little or no masturbation and is looking for her first orgasm, the Magic Wand will provide steady stimulation for as long as she needs to awaken her slumbering clitoris. The strong consistent vibrations will make up for years of sensory deprivation. First timers will want to soften the vibes with a folded washcloth and then gradually remove a layer for more stimulation.

The Wand is also marvelous for women who are interested in increasing the intensity of their orgasms, wanting to have several orgasms during a masturbation session and for women that want to experience orgasm during penetration sex with a partner. The Wand is a must for postmenopausal women that want to renew a fading libido. The electric vibrator is to women what Viagra is to men.

GETTING READY: You will need a few basic things. If at all possible set aside at least an hour in a warm room that's completely private. Although it's not absolutely necessary, it's also nice to have music of your choice.

Drawing by Betty Dodson

• 1. For your genital exam you will need a makeup mirror that stands alone with at least an eight-inch mirror surface.

• 2. A gooseneck desk lamp is the best or some light source that can be aimed between your legs.

• 3. A bottle of massage oil like my Sweet Almond Oil or any cold pressed oil such as sesame, apricot, avocado, etc.

• 4. A soft washcloth that's been washed many times and a towel to sit on.

• 5. A Magic Wand vibrator. For some women, the softer vibrations of a battery vibrator may be preferable or if you prefer, you can also use your hands.

• 6. Betty's Barbell for penetration or you can improvise with a peeled carrot or zucchini. The advantage of the Barbell is that the weight will hold it in place.

GENITAL EXAM: To learn about the form and function of your vulva, it's essential to start off with a genital exam. Get a soft towel and put it on the floor or a bed with some kind of back support. Place the mirror so that you have a view of your entire genital area. Aim a bright light between your legs. Oil your hands. Now spend a few minutes doing an over-all genital massage while observing your self in the mirror. Enjoy the pleasurable feelings as you press, kneed and move your hands all over your entire genital area. Enjoy the feelings.

Next spread your outer lips apart to explore your vulva's intricate internal design with it's delicate folds and mysteries. Locate your clitoris at the top of your vulva. Find the shaft and hood of the clitoris. Pull the hood back so you can see your clitoral glans. With an well-oiled finger, touch and rub your clitoris using different kinds of pressure from light to firm above, on either side and on the tip of your clitoris. Observe the different sensations. Spread the inner lips apart with both hands. Locate your vaginal opening that is not a hole but rather small folds that will part when you enter with your finger. The vaginal vestibule is the recessed space inside your inner lips. See if you can locate your urethra, a tiny opening nestled somewhere in the vestibule below the clitoris and above the vaginal opening.

Arrange your genital flower in a manner you find most appealing. Appreciate the beauty of your magnificent sex organ. You might want to trim or shape or even color your pubic hair for a pussy portrait to give your lover on Valentine's Day.

THE PELVIC FLOOR MUSCLE: Consciously relax your vaginal muscles while taking several deep breaths. Then very slowly press your middle finger slowly inside your vagina. Once inside, circle your finger feeling the contours of your vaginal barrel. Take a deep breath and relax all the surrounding muscles and focus primarily on the muscle that stops the flow of urine. Now squeeze and release this muscle on your finger. You will feel your vagina gripping your finger softly or firmly depending on the strength of your PC (pubococcygeus) muscle. Take your finger away and watch your entire genital area move from your clitoris to your anus when you contract the muscle by lifting up and squeezing. Do not bear down. Lift and release, lift and release. Be sure to check out how to do Kegel exercises on my website: www.bettydodson.com/barbellinfo.htm

BREATHING: Next lie down on your bed, a futon, or a blanket on the floor. Make sure you are comfortable and warm. Place a pillow under your head. Your feet are on the floor with your knees bent and your legs at a comfortable angle. Take a series of deep breaths exhaling with an audible sigh. Send loving thoughts to your body. During your masturbation session it's a good idea to be able to hear yourself breathing out loud. Getting oxygen into the blood stream is essential for clitoral engorgement. Inhale through your nose and exhale through your mouth. If your nose is stopped up, do both the in and out breath with your mouth only. Most women tend to hold their breath during sexual arousal so make sure you breathe.

PELVIC ROCKING: Avoid tensing up and holding your body rigid. Move your pelvis like Elvis. Roll your hips. Do a little dance lying down. Use all the movements that feel good. Loosen up. Stretch. Smile. As your hips rock forward and back the muscles in your body flex and relax similar to an athlete in motion. Take a minute and dance to the music of your choice with rhythmic pelvic thrusting along with deep breathing and sounds of pleasure. Remember sex is about having fun and feeling good. During your entire masturbation session, a gentle rocking motion becomes perpetual motion.

PENETRATION WITH PC MUSCLE: Now that you are in touch with your PC muscle, you are ready to do slow penetration with Betty's Barbell. Or you can improvise by using a peeled carrot or zucchini. Just be aware that squeezing your vaginal muscle will tend to push the veggie dildo out so hold it with one hand. Place the larger ball of the Barbell just at the vaginal opening (inside the vestibule) and begin to squeeze and release the PC muscle on it. Observe the sensation. Penetrate your vagina very slowly going an inch at a time while pausing to grip and release the Barbell with your muscle. Once the Barbell is inserted, it stays in place leaving both hands free. When your veggie dildo gets pushed out as you squeeze the muscle, you can leave it out or hold it in place.

CLITORAL STIMULATION: With the Barbell in place, add clitoral stimulation first with your oiled finger. Release all expectations of what you "should" be feeling. Just observe what is happening without any judgments. Stay with manual as long as it feels good. When you desire more clitoral sensation, add a battery vibrator. Stay with this as l long as it feels good. Next use the Magic Wand with the switch on low. It's okay to experiment with high later on, but the low setting will allow you to take time and enjoy all your pleasurable sensations. Get the washcloth and fold it into layers. Place the electric vibrator on top of it. As you vibrate you can remove a layer at a time as clitoral sensations diminish. Staying with one layer of cloth will allow you to vibrate longer. Keep a light touch. The whole point of selfloving is to train your body to tolerate higher levels of sexual pleasure that last longer than a few minutes.

COMBINING BREATHING, PELVIC MOVEMENTS AND THE PC MUSCLE: As you rock your hips up, squeeze your PC muscle and exhale through your mouth. As your pelvis goes back down to rest inhale through your nose and release the PC muscle. Forward tilt, exhale and squeeze the PC. Then drop back down, inhale and release the PC muscle. Continue doing this while breathing out loud. Listen to yourself breathing. While this seems a bit complicated at first, like any new dance step, once you've done it a few times your body will remember the moves. As you reach a higher level of sexual arousal your breathing will be similar to jogging or when walking briskly. Eventually you can make sounds of pleasure on the out breath. Try the vowels sounds of Ah, Oh or say the word "yes." Let your jaw drop and have your mouth slightly open. Keep your eyes closed and your attention focused on the sensation in your genitals. Visualize the vibrator stimulating the flow of blood to your clitoris.

ORGASM: It's important to let go of all romantic notions of what you think an orgasm will be like. Instead keep an open mind and pay attention to the good feelings that are happening in your body. Be patient. A consistent problem for beginners is putting pressure on your self to come. This is the exact opposite of experiencing pleasure. Sexual excitement does not go in a straight line to orgasm similar to many men's sexual response. You can get a sensation that feels great and then it will drift or go away completely. Nothing is wrong. Keep breathing while you tense and release your PC muscle. Find another rhythm with your vibrator and change your pelvic movements until you catch the next wave of pleasure.

Just in front of a climax your pelvic movements might become more urgent and your breathing more rapid as your heart rate increases. Or you might slow down and get quiet. At that point trust your body until it has the orgasm. Once orgasm occurs, don't stop. Simply lighten up with the vibrator by moving it above your clitoris or off to one side. Keep breathing, moving your pelvis and pumping the pelvic floor muscles. After a few moments, the hypersensitivity will subside and you're clitoris will be ready to go again. At that point you have the choice of building up to another orgasm or riding the aftershocks of pleasure from the orgasm you just had.

VARIATIONS ON EXPERIENCES WITH VIBRATORS: When you are new to vibrator sex, you may experience any number of responses. One client I observed had a full-body orgasm, but she claimed nothing had happened. Her expectation of an orgasm was so exaggerated she couldn't identify what was actually taking place in her body. Another woman had a small climax and didn't think it was real. In order for her orgasms to grow, she needed to acknowledge her small climaxes. A girlfriend told me that the first time she used a vibrator, she had the most intense orgasm of her life, but it was over before she knew what had happened. Another woman had to practice for a month before she broke through to orgasm.

COMMON MISUSE OF THE VIBRATOR: Some women create pain instead of pleasure by bearing down with the vibrator, crushing their sweet little clits while demanding immediate results. Or they vibrate too long irritating their vulva. When you feel pain or a burning sensation, stop. You are doing something wrong. Instead of relying on pressure only to increase the sensation, keep the vibrator moving on and around your clitoris with a light touch. A little pressure from time to time is okay, but bearing down will numb out the most athletic clits. Breathing deeply, rocking your pelvis and squeezing the pelvic floor muscles will increase your genital sensation. Not bearing down harder.

The other problem is not taking enough time. Most women that come to see me for a private session have never masturbated more than five to fifteen minutes. In order to get the energy moving similar to getting your heart rate up, I often keep my client moving and breathing and vibrating for at least an hour, sometimes longer. The common complaint from women is, "I seem to get right in front of an orgasm but can't get over that edge." My answer is, "There is no edge." Keep vibrating while trying something different; a new fantasy, a different rhythm, shifting the position of the vibrator, altering vaginal penetration. Most important, don't stop.

SEXUAL FANTASY: One of the best ways to focus your mind on sexual pleasure is to engage your thoughts in a hot fantasy instead of running the grocery list. If you are new to fantasy you can start by imagining something sexual that you enjoyed and gradually embellish the details. Sexual fantasy is at the heart of the creative process that requires the freedom to imagine the unimaginable. Get rid of the mental censor inside your head. My fantasies have ranged from sugary romantic scenarios to thinking up elaborate set ups for bondage where I'm taken advantage of by cruel men. At first I worried about my rape and bondage fantasies, but these were the images that got me really hot. In real life I have never been put into bondage or raped. Once I understood that I was playing all the roles, it freed me to stop passing judgment on my fantasies and give my imagination free reign.

click on photo for larger (10K)

DILDO USE: Once you have your orgasm pattern established, adding vaginal penetration with Betty's Barbell or different sized dildos will intensify sexual sensations. When using my Barbell, first oil it and start with slow penetration. Once inside, you can leave the Barbell in place while you squeeze and release the PC muscle. The weight of the Barbell holds it inside the vagina. Or you can move it slowly in and out or do a short rapid motion while continuing clitoral stimulation. Angle the Barbell or any other dildo up toward the ceiling of your vagina to press into the urethral sponge (G-spot) and observe the sensation. Don't look for some special spot inside your vagina. It's not a "place" it's a sensation. Focus on your primary sex organ, the clitoris with its eight thousand nerve endings. The internal clitoris inside the body surrounds the first third of your vaginal barrel. Continue to work the PC muscle against the Barbell. Try a variety of different sized dildos. You might find a larger dildo stretching your vagina feels good. If vaginal penetration is not that interesting for you or it doesn't feel good, then drop it and stay with your clitoris.

GETTING EVERYTHING TOGETHER

Combining the five elements of clitoral stimulation, vaginal penetration, pelvic movements, PC muscle contractions and breathing out loud makes this style of masturbation the one that's most easily translated into partnersex. During intercourse, you or your partner can add your preferred kind of clitoral contact with fingers, a battery vibrator or any electric vibrator including my favorite, the Magic Wand.

Happy orgasms!

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©Copyright 2000 Betty Dodson