Dear Betty,

I am writing this to find out where I can purchase a Magic Wand vibrator like the one used in your video Celebrating Orgasm, which I just watched. I absolutely LOVED your book Sex For One, and read it in only a few hours. I cannot believe how much I learned about women (and men) in general or what is normal and not normal. I was SO very ignorant before reading your book, and now I am much smarter and more confident in myself to continue to explore and play and pleasure myself.

I only have one concern. I am afraid that if I achieve orgasm with a vibrator, then I won't be able to achieve one any way else. I don't want to become dependant on a vibrator. I am going to be 41 years old in April, and have been married for 24 years to the same man. I have NEVER had an orgasm anyway but with self-stimulation. At this point in my life, I can only cum if I touch myself and even then its VERY HARD work. Most of the time, I just give up. I fall into the category of holding my breath, and focusing on the orgasm and not the feelings. I want to cum from oral, and intercourse and by touch, like everyone else. Not by my own hand. I feel like a freak and my husband blames himself.

So please address my concerns and let me know ASAP where to get your Magic Wand vibrator . You also showed a small one at the end of your video...where can I find that one also. When doing PC exercise with a dildo inside the vagina, does it matter if the dildo is thin or thick? My muscle is barely there, extremely weak. Which is best for me? Thank you so much for all you've taught and showed me. I'll be forever thankful,

Emma

Dear Emma, You are not a freak and your husband must stop blaming himself because society holds the erroneous belief that all women can orgasm from intercourse alone. Most of us need some kind of direct clitoral stimulation and since you are 41 and married for 24 years, you deserve to have all the orgasms you want while using an electric vibrator. I have recommended the Hitachi Magic Wand massager for sexual pleasure since the early seventies. I recently I decided the sell the Wand though my website to go along wth the videos. So go to HOW TO ORDER and don't wait. The Magic Wand is incredibly sturdy, has two speeds, and will see you through powerful orgasms for many years to come. Stop holding a romantic image of wanting to "come from oral, intercourse and by touch like everyone else." Who said that's what everyone else is doing? You tell me you've NEVER had an orgasm except with self-stimulation, its VERY HARD work, and most of the time you just give up. That sounds pretty typical to me. If we all grew up without any sexual repression and were able to masturbate without fear and guilt throughout childhood, our orgasms would be easier. But now you need to embrace the reality of your sexuality by using an electric vibrator without any apologies. Remember, men can fail but with your local Electic Ultility Company behind you and the Magic Wand in your hands you are invincible. By the time I was in my forties, my best orgasms were always with a vibrator. So what? The important thing is having an orgasm. Watch my video Celebrating Orgasm to learn the best techniques for using one of these marvelous machines. Read my Seven Techniques For Achieving Orgasmic Ecstasy. Incorporate this information into your partnersex by using a vibrator on your clitoris during intercourse, which by the way is my current favorite. As for your question about pelvic floor exercises, they can really improve the quality of our orgasms as well as insure urinary control. I recommend these exercises for every women. Click here to see my instuctions => for doing pelvic floor (Kegel) exercises. The weaker your muscles are, the more you need the exercises. If you have a small dildo inside your vagina while squeezing and releasing the muscle, it is believed to help by almost all sex educators. However it can't be too big or the muscle becomes over extended and there isn't enough room to contract it. The resistance device shouldn't be bigger than approximately two fingers. In this regard, by September or October 2000 I will have "Betty's BarBell" available on my website. BB is a stainless steel vaginal barbell for exercising the pelvic floor muscles. You can move it slowly in and out or angle it up to the top of the vaginal roof to press into the urethral sponge (or G-spot). You and your husband can stop blaming and condemning yourselves for simply being human. Start enjoying sex instead. Betty