Dear Miss Dodson.

First off let me say how much I am pleased to have found your web page. Initially I was looking for information on the porn star Nina Hartley as I have watched a few of her videos and am becoming an admirer of her work. But what I found was an article you wrote on a conference you and Miss. Hartley attended together. From there I found your page. And it is fantastic, intelligent, provocative, educational, and fun. A pleasure each time I visit.

Now the reason for the subject line: I have been feeling really confused and strange. I'm not confused about my sexuality. I know what I am. That isn't my problem. I wish it were because then I could find local help. I am a thirty-year-old male, heterosexual, virgin. And as I say I am a virgin by choice, just not mine. I have many female friends. Good friends, but none interested in me as more than that. Now I'm not griping about it. That is my lot in life and I accept that.They give friendship and companionship, which I enjoy. But I just want to fuck a woman at least once.

I'm no good at the bar scene. If I go out looking for a woman I go home alone and depressed. If I go out to just have a good time I have a good time, but I still go home alone. So I decided to put myself in the hands of a professional, and contacted an escort service. I got an intelligent, attractive woman. She came in and we sat down to talk until her time had expired, and so I paid her and she left. Without so much as removing her socks.

Now here is the confusing part. I'm not upset about it.I enjoyed it. And I would like to call upon her again. I am disappointed that nothing more happened but I could have changed that by just saying at any moment 'lets continue this in the bed room', but I didn't. And that is what has me in confused. Why didn't I? This is what I wanted from her. I could have talked with any of my friends. Why did I just talk with her? Maybe I would be better off just moving into a cave and subscribe to hermits monthly. If you wish to help me or not I feel honored that you took the time to read my letter.

Sincerely,
Ray C.

Dear Ray, My dear man you can have what you want but you must be clear that you want it. Since you have never had partnersex with a woman at 33, you have established a habit pattern of just being a platonic friend to women. Like you said, nothing wrong with that except you'd like to have the experience of sexual intercourse. You can. Next time you masturbate think about what you'd like to experience sexually with a woman. In other words, use your fantasies as a form of preparation to prepare yourself for what you want to do. Then call your sex professional again and when she gets there, tell her what you would like to do with her. Remember, you are paying her to fulfill your sexual desires within reason. Some prostitutes will just talk if that's what they think the man really wants, but if you tell her you would like have oralsex and then do vaginal penetration, she will be more than happy to accommodate you. BUT YOU HAVE TO SAY THE WORDS. Actually practice saying the words before you book her in. Look in the mirror when you pratice. When she arrives, after you ask how she is, just say, "I would like to have sex with you," or "I would like you to sit down on my cock," or something like that. Then get back to me with the good news. Good luck, Betty