Dear Dr Betty,

My wife recently told me that she had sex with a married couple who are our friends. I was away on a business trip when this happened. At first I was initially hurt but quickly let that go as I was simply excited about my wife's adventure. She has been somewhat repressed about her sexuality and I didn't want to contribute to that by being judgmental. I have always felt that although we are married, her body belongs to her--she is not my possession and I certainly don't own her just because we are married. When she told me, I had the presence of mind to respond by asking if she had had a good time. I told her that I wanted all her experiences with sex to be good -- even ones without me. My response to this event has had the wonderful effect of really opening her up and our ability to communicate about our sexuality with one another without passing judgment.

I sense that my wife would like to continue to explore herself with our friends. Its just that I would like to be included. Can you give me some direction about how two couples can engage in sex even though the men are not interested in each other but in each other's wives?

Vince